Daily Dose of Pumpkin

have u been wondering why i havent updated this blog for how many days now?.. uhm, probably not… ur not even reading this by heart nor keeping records of my life, so why bother anyway?

actually, me nd grpm8s have been busy, not only us but the whole pop. of 4th yr students PLM-CN have been busy.. its bcoz of our upcoming research proposal…which will be held starting tomorrow.. wow! Goodluck & Godbless to those having their deaths.. i mean proposals on the morrow. specifically, these past 3days, i havent slept at all. well ive slept for an hour or so.. but the things is for a total of 72 hours, about 4-5hours of which, i’ve slept. now, my eyes are numb, tic-ing (twitching), blood shot, with big black rounds under. T_T i need some sleep… im anemic for goodness sake.

ok so now, instead of sleeping or reading our research proposal, here i am typing some stupid words and rants, which u havent got a thing to do. hehehe

but after all the hardships, which will continue throughout this sem and the next sem to come (THAT IS A FACT), a good retribution has been earned. oh Lord, thank u so much. my beloved hydroceph aka "Tingting na tinubuan ng ulo", "Pako", "Palito", has finally noticed me. what im saying is, he talked to me, in my groggy and lethargic state. haha of all the people, i was the one he approached. (BIG DEAL!) tantalizing eyes & admirable with manly voice. wow. actually, i was so shocked that he talked to me that until now, im still shocked but with a big grin pasted on my face. ewan ko, pero s tingin ko na-oobsessed n ko sau.. or baka nmn inlove n tlga ako sau. di ko alam kung anong dahilan bkit ako knausap m. di ko rn alam bkit ngyari un. dhil s pngyyaring un, lalong tumindi ang pagnanais ko n makausap k. we were so close (physically) knina, that i wanted to hug u, or just stay lyk dat. i do not know, if u felt how much i value u, through that short time we’ve communicated, but i hope that u did. bcoz being close to u, all the worries and pain inside of me , u’ve drained just with ur presence. just to be w/ u, i do not care how many nights and days i wud not sleep or eat. just being close to u, i feel complete. sana ikw n nga. sana ikw n. sana. *sigh* but what a non-existent dream.

to my bestest friend in the whole wide world, u know who u are: thank u for being happy for me. thank u for not letting me down. thank u for protecting and defending me amidst all the problems ive encountered. thank u so much and i love u so much. i would not trade u for another. i wanted u to know this, that ur presence here on earth, made my life a whole new world to explore, to ponder, and to live with. ur a special person. a lovely angel. and the prettiest friend i have. ^.^ val, pls do learn to trust some1 again. not all friends and bestest friends are like the one u have encountered in ur past. learn to love, but in order to do so, learn to accept and trust urself. ur a wonderful person with a very big heart for goodness and charity, a brain full of ideas and ideations, with a whole lotta love to give, so break down those walls uve built and breakaway from ur not-so-good past.

tignan m nga nmn pang-sampu ko n plng post.. hihihi.. npgtanto ko n npkrame ko plng problema para umabot ng 10posts ang blog ko..

hay, grbe hirap ng 4th yr.. toxic msyado. nkkpgod. kkauwi ko lng kninang 11pm. putik. ang pagod tlga. 6am duty ko knina. tpos 2pm dretso p skul para gumawa research at ung para s hsa bukas. pagod n ko. 7am p ko pasok bukas. overnyt p kme para s research. problema nmn oh. bgsak nlng kaya research? -_-;; tpos s thurs nyt ule, overnyt nmn s QC para s case study nmen. ano beh? tlga bang ganito ang buhay. di n ko pwd mgstay s bhy?

kahit nmn sobrang pagod, mei konswelo p rn. nkita ko ang taong pinakags2 ko. nkita ko hydroceph ko. bkit b pg nkkita ko xa, pakiramdam ko xa lng ang tao s mundo, at parang nwwala lahat ng iniicp ko, pati pagod. i2 b ang nggawa nia s buhay ko? masama n i2.. lagi ko nlng xa hinahanap.. leche.. bhala n nga kung sakali mainlove ako s knya.. mappigilan ko p b un? eh andyan na e.. -_-; im trying to stop it and pretend that what i feel for him is just a mere emotion called "crush/admiration", but how am i to stop such event from happening, if im already falling in love w/him day after day…

There’s a right or wrong to know for everything

And the truth is somewhere written in between

But there’s always something missing in the dark

There you’ll find the true condition of the heart

Well, I can visualize the pieces of a dream,

And it’s not as far away as it may seem

But if truth be told, it is you that holds the key

To the question that defines my destiny

I’ve been in love, a time or two

I’ve seen the world, but not with you

I wanna fly and spread my wings

I don’t wanna cry, I wanna sing

I wanna live and take a chance

I’m not afraid to love again

I wanna fall, fall for you

And I want you to fall for me too

I’ve had plenty conversations with my heart

Coz I want this thing to work, not fall apart

Oh, I ask my heart how it can be so sure

And it answers me because your heart is pure

I’ve had every expectation that is true

Coz my heart won’t lie to me, much less to you

But if truth be told, it is you that holds the key

To the future that becomes our destiny

Unto the mountain snow that melts into the stream

My heart goes like a river to sea

To the heavens up above,

I pray to God our destiny is love

• Shanice - Fall For You

pinakawalang-kwentang post s laht.. masabi lng n ngpost ako.

post.

nahihirapan n ako. bkit ba gnito ang buhay? bakit b lagi ko n lng tinatanong itong bagay n i2. sana ako n lng ung taong 22o, di ung sobrang pretender. natatandaan ko p sbi ko ayaw ko ng mga plastic, kc nga gnun ako, dhil un ang pnpakita rn ng mga ibang tao sakin. pg ipnakita m ung totoong ikaw, maggalit cla. lagi n lng ako umiiyak, dhil d ko kyang magalit s knla. lgi n lng ako malungkot dhil khit gs2 ko sbhn s knla, n "oi sali nmn. oi sna tulungan nio nmn ako. oi sana wag nio akong ileft out. oi d b mgkkaibgan tau, bkit lagi nio nlnga ko iniiwan". tpos mgttaka cla bkit ako lumalayo s knla, sana naicp dn nla, n s mga panahong kelangan ko cla, andyan b cla. sana naicp nla n 2wing mgkkasama kame, naicp b nla n n22wa pa ako khit iniiwanan nla ako. sana naicp dn nla n khit iniiwan nla ako at ngkkanya-kanya s mga partners nla, sana naicip nla n gs2 ko clang makasama blang parte ng barkada, at d blang mga chaperone, pacifier, o joker ng grupo.

ang hirap. ang sama n ng loob ko. gs2 ko clng mkasama ule, ung dating cla. ung mgkksama kme dhil isang barkada kame. kung saan ang tanging nag-uugnay lng samin ay the thing called camaraderie. our friendship. mahal ko cla at ayw ko n ngkkagnito kame.

onga pala!!

CONGRATULATIONS! PLM-COLLEGE OF NURSING BOYS BASKETBALL TEAM!!
GALING NG FIRST GAME NIO! SANA TULOY TULOY N YAN!!
SA MGA CN STUDENTS, ATTEND NMN KAU GAME NILA. SUPORTAHAN NIO VARSITY TEAM NATIN!!!
ANIMO NURSING FIGHT!!! GO KOLEHIYO NG PAGKALINGA!!
AJA!

ggawa na ako ng post ko ngaung araw n toh, since mamayang gabi di ko na i2 mggawa, dhil pa ako tapos mag-aral. bale, 2matakas lng ako ngaun. pagod n ko mgbasa e. kkatpos ko p lng basahin an ABGs and Mech Vents. aaralin ko pa ECG at ACLS, at marame png iba. no use khit sbhin ko d2 di nio rn nmn ako m22lungan.

so ayun n nga, kagabi sinesermonan ako ni fafa lan. sbi nia, sbhn ko dw feelings ko ky hydroceph *falls over* as if kaya ko po. pero salamat sa advice, pati n rn pla ky kuya igor at kay ate viguel. sobrang naka2long ung mga cnabi m ate viguel, tee-y ule. ^.^

na-eexcite akong pumasok bukas. di dahil s gs2ng-gs2 ko magmidterm s ICN nmen pero dahil nga dun s basketball game n hopefully manonood hydroceph ko. ano b yan, parang inaangkin ko xa masyado. hehe. kc d sya ntanggap s CN varsity e.. kc nmn parang dw sya ung bestfriend nia mglaro e.. msyadong one-man team. bakaw kumbaga. haay, sayang magaling p man dn dw, parang ung bestfriend nia ang galing-galing dn, kso ligwak n sya s plm e. tsktsk, sayang. aliw n aliw p mn dn ako s knilang 2.

so aun n nga, tatry ko muna pag-aralan sarili ko b4 ko totally masabing mahal ko n c hydroceph. onga pla, mgingat pla kayo s mga binibitawan niong salita, baka di nio alam dumating ung panahon n kkainin nio lahat ng cnbi nio. parang ako. mahirap xa. kaya wag kau msydong mapanghusga s mga tao, kc andyan ang karma para balikan kau.

argh! ave, asan n homework m s IT, tgal m nmn isend. andami ko n natype s blog ko o?! hehe knina ko p yan inaantay. d p ako naliligo ang baho baho ko n.

cge. i2 nlng muna. parang ang gulo-gulo ko tlga. sobrang incoherent. kayo nlng po bahalang umintindi s mga pinagtatype ko d2 s blog n 2. ligo n ko. sa wakas. ^.^ nkipaglaro p kc ako s mga aso nmin knina e. ay, onga pala cnu gs2 mkita hydroceph ko? pm me. pakita ko xa. hahaha

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It’s the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice calls me back like a wake up call
I’ve been looking for the answer
Somewhere

have u ever thought n npaka-inutil ko at so not creative, kc title plng wla ng ka-appeal appeal, wlang ka-kwenta-kwenta.

di ko nkita hydroceph ko ngaun. nkkpgtaka khit di ko xa nkita d nmn ako nalulungkot. but im always looking 4ward for the morrow, kc baka sakali makita ko xa.

stop muna ako ky hydroceph.

midterm nmin s ICN s sat at bball game CN vs CAE. asteeg s wkas mei game n rn n mappanood. gotta cheer for our college. practice nga nla knina e. pero xmpre di ako nanood noh. hehe

wla n akong kabang nraramdaman para s ICN nmin, para nmn kc mei ppasa p sa mga exams dun. hirap kaya. kkadrain out. kkafrustrate lng, kc aral k ng aral di k nmn ppasa. kaya imbis n ngaun n ko ngaaral, bukas ko nlng uumpisahan. msyado ako mcpag e. >:)

so aun n nga, ppasok kya ako IT s sat.. hm, wag nlng kaya? haha. *isep-isep*. bahala n sat, pero baka ppasok n rn ako. sayang dn kc. baka magpa-quiz p prof nmen. pandagdag dn un s grades, since pamajor effect dn xa. hehe and IT units is equal to ICN units, so dapat parehong effort ang ibbgay s knla.

parang npkawlang kwenta ng mga pngllagay ko d2 noh.pxnsya po. ayan seryoso ule.
nabanggit ko knna s bestie ko n pwd bng hilingin n kung pwd c hydroceph nlng ibgay sakin, wag ng iba. ngaun lng nmn ako hihiling ng ganung bagay e. corny. nakakainis. nakkagulo ng utak. parang ung header ko, ang gulo-gulo ng mga pumpkins.

nalaman ko n kahit mas ahead ako ng yr level s knya, mas matanda xa sakin, un sbi nung kakilala nia e. hihihi. yehey! mas matanda xa sakin. pwd n. hahaha XD ano b toh, para akong ngplaplano ng isang event, kung saan ang pinakabday celebrant ay wala. nakakalungkot.

ngttanong ung kaibgan ko, 22o toh n kaibgan ko xa tlga, bkit dw b ang sarap mgmahal, pero masakit at mahirap dng mgmahal? aba.. malay ko ba. hnd ko rn alam. bkit nga b? kw alam m?

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

nakkainis nmn, di gumagana html or bbs tags d2.. -_- alang kwnta..

hay, di ko alam ipopost ko.. bahala n lng kung anu nlng maicp ko.

nagttaka lng ako, now that im in my last year in college, why is that my friends and also even me, kept asking the same question.. "bkit kami wlang boyfriend?"

sabi ko s sarili ko nun, wla akong pkialam kung my bf n clang lahat. and i still do. but there are tyms when u just cant help but feel the air of loneliness that surrounds u, esp when ur barkadas and friends suddenly go mushy w/ their partners and ur left alone to ponder and view the current set up.

amongst my friends, they wud always tell me n kaya raw wla ako kc i always act lyk a kid and sobrang nkktakot akong mging gf coz parang sobrang inocente ko. really? im a nursing s2dent. ive been asked several advices about the love matter.

isang beses ko lng nkita hydroceph ko ngaun. ewan. pero khit isang beses lng masaya n rn ako, kesa nmn s hindi ko xa nkita db. hay, wala n akong masabi.. bahala n nga.. maya ule.. or di kya bukas n.. nattamad n ko e.. icp m n ako..

look. run. grin. laugh. snort. walk. hop. sing. dance. jump. kick. eat. drink. hear. throw-up. give-up. gain. loss. think. write. read. happy. sad. angry. special. moody. delicious. unpredictable. unthinkable. unfathomable. pixie. cheeky. gone. come. some. one. any. wrong. right. body. head. feet. nose. arms. eyes. ears. lips. teeth. chest. hips. waist. waste. conserve. reserve. reservoir.  renaissance. burn. fire. water. wind. earth. sick. lick. pick. irk. honesty. deception. disclosure. anonymous.

im feeling so apathetic ryt now. di ko alam kung bkit. in all the intrams n inatenan ko s Plm ung knina ung worst. bkit wlng game? bkit ang bilis ntpos nung program? whereas before inaabot hanggang gbi ang program e. kung kelan nmn willing ako mgstay hnggang gbi gnun nmn ngyari. saya tlga. nkkainis.

nkakalungkot ang buhay. bkit ba lagi n lng natin pinipilit abutin at makuha ang isang bagay n di nmn para satin. nakakapnghina kung iicpn kc khit anung gwin mong dasal, tinawag m n lahat ng santo, ngmakaawa, lumuhod, umiyak, wa-epek p rn. bkit b gnito. pgod n pagod n ko.

lagi kita hinahanap di ko alam kung bkit. pag andyan ang presensya m, masaya ako. di ko p rn alm bkit. pg wala k n, nghihina na ako. pkiramdam ko, a dementor is sucking all the happiness inside of me. bkit m p kc ako nginitian, eh d sana, i still despise u.  bkit b kc e. bkit k p ng-exist s buhay ko. pwd nmn s ibang lyftym, s ibang era. bkit p ba tau ngkasabay ng panahong binuhay s mundo. pareho p ng lugar at bansa. haay… parang ngaasar nlng e.

ngaun ko lng nramdaman toh, kaya asar tlg ako sau at lalo n sarili ko dhil di ko mapgilan ang emosyon ko. minsan pg naaalala kta, nppngiti ako khit mukha akong tanga. minsan nmn bglang iiyak, mukha p rn akong tanga. minsan maiinis, kc mas vain k p sakin, para p rn akong tanga. kung baga, isa ako s pinakamalaking tanga s mundo. cguro kelangan ko na ata tlg ipasok ang sarili ko s psych ward.

s ngaun nttakot ako, kc ayaw ko n nasasaktan ako at ayaw dn tnggpin ng pride ko n nssktan n nga ako ngaun. di ko alam kung bkit. wla akong karapatan. di nga tau mgkaibigan. i cud only look at u at a far away distance. i cannot even talk 2 u. sometimes i think, that wat im feeling ryt now is just a fleeting emotion of being infatuated, or an emotion that longs to be closed to u or to befriend u. cguro pg nging kaibgan kita mawawala rn i2. sabi nga ng bestfriend ko, one day i’l look back and read wat ive typed here at matatawa nlng ako. dhil marereliazed ko napakalaki kong tanga at sobra pala ang tama ko sau.

eat pumpkin. eat apple. eat grapes. eat orange. eat cucumber. eat watermelon. eat strawberry. eat prune fruit. eat melon. eat coconut. drink daiquiri. drink whisky. drink champagne. drink vodka. play ragnarok. play guild wars. play heaven’s sword. play rose. play fairyland. play gunbound. play priston tale. play oz. be happy. be sad. be cute. be kind. be lovely. be pretty. be snob. be stupid. be loved. be inlove. be angry. be respected. be polite. be trustworthy. be more. read more. read books. read newspaper. read magazines. read emails. read letters. read journals. read comics. read manga. read thesaurus. read quotes. read red. think wisely. think green. act green. PLM-CN 

another "wlng-kwentang" post:

had my duty today at PGH-MICU.. saya.. aliw.. 1st tym ko kc mgfeed and Cbg eh.. wow.. mei bgo ako na22nan aliw.. ^^

bukas intrams na *yay* saya, mgdadala ako camera, kw nu dadalahin m? last intrams n ng batch nmin toh e.. hopefully.. kung iicpn parang kelan lng 1st yr kme.. cnu bng ngicp n mkkarating kme agad ng 4th yr..aliw.. ang swerte ng batch nmin.. andaming rules ang na-implement.. kc dw madame anak ng diyos samin e.. at dhil n rn s dami nmin kaya kelangan tlga mg-bwas.. pero khit gnun, malaki ang tiwala ko s batch nmin, alam ko matatalino tlga cla at alam ko 100% mppasa nmin ang board exams.. aja! ^^

naiinis ako, sbi kc ng kaibgan ko bading dw c hydroceph n cnbi dw nung bestfriend nia na wla n s plm..sbi p nga nung bestfriend ni hydroceph, crush dw sya ni hydroceph. tama dw bng sbhn ung s bestfriend? parang ang gulo noh.. pero tama yan.. hindi p rn ako naniniwla n bading c hydroceph.. ^.^

nytnyt n nga! kelangan ko n ma2log maaga p me 2mr e.. mwah! ^^